History of the Brass Monkey
Posted: 12/8/2003 4:20:03 PMBy: Comfortably Anonymous
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Topic: History of this planet
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon, but they had to find a way to prevent them from rolling about the deck.
The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations. But, if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls quickly would rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys."
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".
And all this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you?
The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem...how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations. But, if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls quickly would rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys."
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".
And all this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you?
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By: Comfortably Anonymous
Times Read: 2,209
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Topic: History of this planet
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History of the Brass Monkey
Posted: 12/8/2003 4:20:03 PMBy: Comfortably Anonymous
Times Read: 2,209
Likes: 0 Dislikes: 0
Topic: History of this planet
Okay, so we're back in the time of pirates. We're on a ship captained by the
Dread Pirate Richards. We're sailing along one day, looking for a ship to raid
and loot. Another ship appears suddenly, and the man in our crow's nest shouts
"Ship ho!" Our captain calls out to the lookout, asking how many men they
have. "About 100 sir." The ship docks with ours, and their men board our
ship. The first mate runs up to Captain Richards and asks what should be done.
"Yargh. Take down the sails, tell the men to fight, and fetch me my sword and
my red shirt." The frst mate does as he's instructed, and returns with the
Captain's sword and red shirt, only to find him deep in battle along with the
other men. The mate runs up to him and hands him his things, and the captain
changes his shirt and begins swashbuckling and all that good stuff. The fight
last for hours, but finally our ship wins, and the remaining men from the other
ship retreat, and they sail away.
Afterward the first mate asks our Captain "That was quite a battle, sir. But
tell me one thing. Why were you concerned with your red shirt when we were
under attack?"
"Well boy, I knew it would be a long difficult battle. I wanted my red shirt
because I knew that if I was wearing it, the other men couldn't see me
bleeding, and they'd be inspired to fight longer and harder."
A few days later, the same thing happens. The lookout in the crow's nest cries
out "Ship HO!" The Captain asks how many they have. "About 200 sir!" The
mate asks what should be done, and again the captain replies to take down the
sails, tell the men to fight, and bring him his sword and his red shirt. Again
we fight firecely for hours, and in the end, we're victorious. The mate
realizes the Captain's red shirt is very important to our success in battle.
Another few days later, the same thing happens. "Ship HO!!" The men prepare
for battle and take down the sails on their own. The captain asks how many
men they have. "About 500 sir!" The mate asks the Captain what else should be
done.
"Yaaarrrggghhh. Fetch me my brown pants."
Dread Pirate Richards. We're sailing along one day, looking for a ship to raid
and loot. Another ship appears suddenly, and the man in our crow's nest shouts
"Ship ho!" Our captain calls out to the lookout, asking how many men they
have. "About 100 sir." The ship docks with ours, and their men board our
ship. The first mate runs up to Captain Richards and asks what should be done.
"Yargh. Take down the sails, tell the men to fight, and fetch me my sword and
my red shirt." The frst mate does as he's instructed, and returns with the
Captain's sword and red shirt, only to find him deep in battle along with the
other men. The mate runs up to him and hands him his things, and the captain
changes his shirt and begins swashbuckling and all that good stuff. The fight
last for hours, but finally our ship wins, and the remaining men from the other
ship retreat, and they sail away.
Afterward the first mate asks our Captain "That was quite a battle, sir. But
tell me one thing. Why were you concerned with your red shirt when we were
under attack?"
"Well boy, I knew it would be a long difficult battle. I wanted my red shirt
because I knew that if I was wearing it, the other men couldn't see me
bleeding, and they'd be inspired to fight longer and harder."
A few days later, the same thing happens. The lookout in the crow's nest cries
out "Ship HO!" The Captain asks how many they have. "About 200 sir!" The
mate asks what should be done, and again the captain replies to take down the
sails, tell the men to fight, and bring him his sword and his red shirt. Again
we fight firecely for hours, and in the end, we're victorious. The mate
realizes the Captain's red shirt is very important to our success in battle.
Another few days later, the same thing happens. "Ship HO!!" The men prepare
for battle and take down the sails on their own. The captain asks how many
men they have. "About 500 sir!" The mate asks the Captain what else should be
done.
"Yaaarrrggghhh. Fetch me my brown pants."
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